 General Info
| I Am Here For: |
For a New Experience, To Meet People |
| Marital Status: |
Swinger |
| Children: |
I don't want children |
| Education: |
Some College |
| Religion: |
N/A |
| Smoke: |
Yes |
| Drink: |
Yes |
| Occupation: |
Hair Stylist |
| Body Type: |
Athletic |
| Height: |
5' 9" |
| Ethnicity: |
White / Caucasian |
| Languages: |
English |
Sexy Stuff
| I Am Looking For: |
N/A |
| Sexual Fantasies: |
N/A |
| Sex is Best: |
N/A |
| Cybersex: |
N/A |
| I Want You To: |
N/A |
| Cybersex Personality: |
N/A |
My Web Gifts
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Blizza22's Scoop
About me:
What I am like.... So, ladies, what am I like? I sat down and thought about this for awhile, realized some unpleasant things, and hurriedly got piss drunk. When I sobered up, I decided to do what any man does when faced with a difficult problem: Make someone else do it. So I emailed some of my closest female friends (and yes, guys and girls can be platonic friends), and asked them to describe me as if they were talking to another girl they were trying to set me up with. Here's what they wrote:Girl ..1: "Do you even realize how much I fucking hate you? You are always a complete prick to me, and you send me some ridiculous fucking email about setting you up with someone. Eat shit and die." Girl ..2: "Lance, you know that the restraining order pertains to email also. The judge told you this several times. Good-bye, and don't ever write me again. I still haven't gotten over that infection you gave me. Asshole."Girl ..3: "Lance, are you coming back home anytime soon? The baby hasn't eaten in three days. You said you were just going out for some fresh air, and that was 2 weeks ago. Please, honey, come back. I'll cook and clean better, and I'll do my best to stop talking back. And I mean it when I say this, I promise not to sleep with your friends anymore. Please come back." After such resounding success with my female friends, I asked some of my male friends to describe me. Here's what they wrote:Guy ..1: "What the hell is this? You are such an idiot Why are you bothering me with this crap? Are you queer? Go study or something."Guy ..2: "Dude, I wouldn't set you up with a mangy, starving dog even if you had steaks for legs. Man, do you even realize how much you suck?" Guy ..3: "I write this now with the hope that it will reach as many of your potential victims as possible: Whatever you have to do to avoid Lance, short of killing yourself, DO IT. There is no worse fate for a woman than to become involved with Lance Roy. He will do mean things to your butt, and then stop taking your calls. He will break you down, emotionally and mentally, toy with your feelings and play with your sense of self until you become little more than an extension of his ego, and then he'll get bored and move onto his next hapless victim. Are you going to pay me that money you owe me anytime soon? I'm getting really pissed off man." That's about enough of that. I don't like any of those people anyway..
Who I'd like to meet:
What I want Now, on to the important stuff, namely, what I want in a woman. I have several requirements: She must be hot: I don't mean pretty, cute, or attractive. I mean people-stop-in-the-street, random-men-follow-you-home, cars-wreck-as-you-walk-by hot. Looks are not everything, but that's where it all begins. What do I consider hot? Take a look at a sampling of some of my ex-girlfriends to get a general idea. (And no, the girl DOES NOT have to be tall or blonde. As long as she’s hot, she could be black, Hispanic, short, red hair, whatever. Hot crosses all boundaries. Except maybe fat. You don’t really see any hot fat girls. Voluptuous yes; fat no.) She must be smart and cultured: Smart can be defined several ways. Generally, the best indication of intelligence is agreeing with me. If you get, and enjoy, the humor on this page then you are probably smart enough. I don’t expect a woman to be witty enough to be able to verbally spar with me on a consistent basis; please, if one even exists, I’ve never met her (and don’t email me telling me that you are that girl. You aren’t). As long as she gets my jokes, and can throw one or two back every few minutes, she's good. As far as cultured goes, she doesn't have to be the fashion critic from Vogue, she just has to know more about the arts, decoration, and design than I do, and has to have some sense of style, because I have none. This is not one of the tougher requirements to pass. If she can coordinate an outfit, she should sail through this. She must be emotionally stable: This is very important. Nut jobs need not apply for a date with me, as I already have more than enough problems for one relationship. I require a woman who comes from a loving, stable family and carries no major emotional baggage with her. I'll give her more baggage than a Fendi store, she doesn't need to bring any into the relationship. She must be willing and able to have lots of children: I want at least 5 kids, maybe more. This requires a healthy woman with good birthing hips, a resilient figure, good genes, and a love of children. She doesn't have to worry about being a housewife, because housekeepers and nannies will be provided. She just has to be willing to have the kids, love them, and spend enough time with them that they don't grow up and hate their mother. If she makes enough money, I’d be happy to stay home with the kids. As long as she pops’em out, I’ll take care of them. And she has to breast feed; that's very important. Breast feeding is worth like 10-15 IQ points for the child, and my kids are going to need every advantage they can get.%D%A%D?. She must be fun to hang out with: Perhaps most important of all, we must have fun being together. Everything else is important, but it all goes to shit if we don't get along and have a great time when together. But I’m a fun guy, so that shouldn’t be hard. If I like you, you’ll like me. She must be willing to take care of me and worship me: Unlike most guys, I'm going to be honest: I want to be nurtured and coddled. No question. I want a woman that will cook for me (at least sometimes), that will take care of me when I'm sick, that will do my laundry, clean up for me (sometimes), give me massages and just generally care about my welfare more than I do. She has to hold me in the same regard I hold myself, i.e., she has to worship me. Believe it or not, this isn't hard to find by itself, but this combined with "smart and cultured," well, that's hard. Probably because a smart woman would never be stupid enough to worship me. I guess that's what mail order bride catalogs are for. She Has to be bi-sexual: I have decided that I am not ever going to restrict myself to sex with only one woman, so my woman (women) need to either accept that fact or enjoy women right along with me. Still want to fill out the Date Application?
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More About Blizza22
My Other Profile/Website Links:
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Interests:
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My Favorite Websites:
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Music:
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Movies:
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Books:
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